Lag sometimes suck in Warhammer online

Okay so I am playing this game called Warhammer Online. It is a game where you play either Order (good guys) or Chaos (bad guys) and go do quest quests and/or fight other players in scenarios for renown and experience points. You can play with and against people from around the world. I think it is the greatest game to come out in 2008. What I like about the game the most is the scenarios. It is called realm verses realm (rvr) fighting. This is where you are put into a certain place where order characters fight against chaos characters. There is a little more to it, but fuck it you get the picture.
Well, I seem to have some problems at times while fighting in rvr. I seem to have some lag while I fight other players in these scenarios. When there is a lot of players bunched up in a small area, my game starts to lag and turns into a slide show event for me. I call this the Power Point Slide WAR event. I will give you an example with my Witch Hunter I play.
Slide 1: My Rapier is in the belly of some Orc.
Slide 2: me smiling as I hit him over the head with my pistol.
Slide 3: Orc has his sword raised in air.
(Long freeze on the screen)
Slide 4: me on ground dead and Orc laughing.
Slide 5: Orc is squatting with his ass above my head. (he has this grunting look on his face)
Slide 6: there is a large log of Orc shit wrapped around my head. And a smile on Orc’s face.
Slide 7: Orc standing over my body now. He is pointing and laughing at me.
Slide 8: (still dead on ground. I did not resurrect yet). Orc is still standing over my body, but this time there seems to be a stream of liquid coming from his lower section and landing on my body.
Slide 9: Orc pointing and laughing at me again.
(30 seconds to 5 DAYS LATER!!!)
Slide 10:I am resurrected and running back into the Frey.
This pisses me off when this shit happens to me. Lag really sucks!

Note: Warhammer online does not show any Orcs shitting or pissing on their opponents. This is just an over dramatic, humorous, and fictional viewpoint on my end.

A vision from the Taco Prophet

Last night as I was staring at my monitor I had a vision. A terrible and powerful vision. As such, that it struck at my very soul and I trembled and had great dread. In this vision, I was standing in a field. A low grassy field that was hard under my feet. And it had the color of the leaves on a tree like in the autumn season. In the sky, there were dark and light grey clouds. And the sun could not shine down upon the field because of them. And those clouds were racing across the sky faster than my eyes could follow. The wind was blowing a great blow. As such that I had to struggle to stay on my feet. In the distance ahead of me, there was a great line of trees. These trees stretched across the ground from left to right as far as my eyes could see.

Then the great wind that blew, threw me to the ground. As I struggled to get on my feet, I looked up, and two trailer homes appeared before me. They were side by side. Both of these trailer homes had the color of brown all along the side them. And along the top and bottom trimmings of both of these trailers were the color of dirty white. And they had windows all around them. Some widows were cracked and others that were not cracked were covered with a plastic wrap as to keep the warm air from seeping out of them. Neither trailer homes had a deck attached to it. There were stones that piled on top of each other as to make a stair leading up to the doors of each trailer.

As I stared at these two trailer homes, my eyes saw a figure slowly emerging from behind the trailer on my left. As I focused my eyes on this figure, I recognized who this was. It was Brian my old friend. I was glad to see him and yet afraid to see him at the same time. He started walking between the two trailers with his head hanging low. His hands were stretched out caressing the trailers. Then he suddenly stopped. Raised his head and looked right at me. He then closed his hands into fists and raised his arms into the air, and with a thunderous sound screamed “CHECKMATE”! Then the vision faded.

The Ultimate Spell to cast on someone

I was thinking the other day about fantasy magic. And I came up with the most awesome and effective spell ever created in any magic filled fantasy world. This spell can take down any foe you cast it at. Even take down gods of fantasy. Here is how it works.

You say the spell. Something like PETRONUS TESTICLES! Or say: TESTISSUMMOS at a person. And a set of balls will immediately appear on the person’s part of the body that contains it’s private parts. If it is male that already has a set of balls, then another set will grow on him. Then a magical foot will appear right in front of the place where the balls grew. Which then will immediately kick the foe nine times with all the female rage of a thousand years past. Your foe will die a slow and painful death. I call this spell the ‘Oh man that's gotta hurt! ’ spell.

This spell can be placed on any living being. No matter what type of living being it is, it will grow a set of male testicles that can be hurt from the magical foot. Even if the being does not have any reproductive organs, it will grow balls on its lower half somewhere. This spell can even be put on gods of any fantasy world. And here’s the kicker. This spell cannot be resisted, counter spelled, dispelled, or fail.

The Pain

The pain and suffering was unbearable. Like a thousand hooks were ripping the flesh off my body. Like someone squeezing my eyeballs. Like people were standing over me and hitting me with bats until my bones shattered. Like someone putting my balls into a vice and squeezing them until they popped. Like pulling my teeth out with a needle-nose pliers. Like getting dipped in boiling oil.

And just as I thought I could take the suffering no longer, I was done reading the chapter on Integrated Service Digital Network (ISDN) and Dial-on-demand routing (DDR). Reading about this stuff for WAN technologies can be utterly painful.

wow my first blog

Well it's my first time doing a blog and right now I have nothing to add. But as I get to know more about what I can do here, I will go all crazy and shit with the pictures, and the site connections, and the rantings and the hey hey heys. My friends recommended me to create a blog here. they thought I should write down things I say into a blog. As well as like put in pictures and recommended websites. So here I am.

Well I guess I should tell you what I write is going to be of adult nature. I'm not going to write about porn, if that's what your thinking of adult nature. Porn is for watching in a closet with a 25 year old television and VCR where God can't see you masturbate fiercely. I'm just making a joke here. But I want to put curse words in here and write in a adult content style. So don't get offended by what I say. It's just a passing thought that I may have for that day or hour or I am joking around.

But the stuff on here will be epic. So when you read these blogs, listen to the Conan or Gladiator soundtrack. Or some other epical music that sings about an epical person killing an epical monster. Then taking the epical maiden back to the epical town. Where he can get epical praise. And get an epical lay from the epical maiden. And then spend all his epcial coins on drinking and whoring around. Where he'll just end up somewhere being a guard and telling little kids about how epical he was in his earlier years for the price of some cheap wine. Okay okay it wont be that epical but I will put some stuff on here. So you be the judge if it is epic or not. So stay tuned for more from me.